I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
