Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
