you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
