I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
