you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
