Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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