im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
