I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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