He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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