why didn't you poke me back
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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