the new term for farting is butt boxing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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