Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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