I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
