I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
They are going to name an STD after you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
