a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
