I will die if light touches me.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize