She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
