All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
