the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
