ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
