Need sex. Gaining weight.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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