based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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