Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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