the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
