ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
