a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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