I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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