Porn is love you can see.
babies were throwing up all over the place
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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