I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
