just tell him i said nine months
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
