OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
