Will you blow on my dice?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
