Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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