i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize