he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize