i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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