i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Welp...herpes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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