dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
