You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize