Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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