just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
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You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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