Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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