i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
