Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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