I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
