You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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