He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
false alarm, still single
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
