Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
