I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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