Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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