Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
