Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
