plz talk dirty to me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
