I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
