i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize