kristin has been a bad kristin
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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