i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
