no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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