I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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