Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize