You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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