Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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