don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
